Sloppy Firsts Book Review

I probably picked it up from my sister, Bethany, who was fourteen at the time and spent hours in front of the mirror rolling her eyes and practicing pissy looks to advertise her so-called angst. Of course, the difference between Bethany and me is that I’ve never had to practice.

-pg 5

Prequel to: Second Helpings

Sloppy Firsts by Megan Mccafferty

Look at that cover. So unassuming. It’s got the classic cover of a sucky teenage romance/ inner greif/ finding yourself book. It’s got a picture of a girl on it, with her legs showing, and it’s bright and streamlined, and even the title is implicative. It looks so….shallow.

And, yeah, I judge books by their covers.

So by all means, I shouldn’t have put this on hold from the library. I shouldn’t have even looked twice at it when it came up as suggested after I ordered Along for the Ride off Amazon. But perhaps Amazon knows a bit more than I do because check this:

This book is a total poser.

It seems like a lame crappy novel, but actually, I  liked it. I read it yesterday night and today and I have to say, it helped me escape from the pain of my head wound (which I might die from).  I just sat in bed and read and read and read, which I can only do with books that don’t drag, or get long winded, or keep repeating themselves. This books was funny enough to keep me interested.

Sloppy Firsts didn’t do anything unheard of, but somehow it just took cliches and slammed them in my face. Well, kinda.

The main character is a girl, who is brilliant and kinda like me in that we obsess about the most random stuff and get really worked up about it and then complain that no one understands when they really shouldn’t because we are being totally random. Her name is Jessica Darling.

Yes, Jessica Darling. I would hate it, and she hates it. But she also milks it, and her straight As to get out of trouble.

Anyways, so Jessica isn’t a brilliant nerd with no friends. She has people she doesn’t really like but she hangs out with anyways, and her best friend just moved away, so she’s a little lonely. And Jessica isn’t uncool; the people she is hanging out with are a few from the popular crowd. She doesn’t like them because they’re not really original and she laughs at them behind their backs.

So Jessica is bursting through the ugly/nerdy/loser stereotype already. She also breaks the pining-over-a-guy-who-doesn’t-know-she-exists-when-Mr.-Right-is-there-all-along thing too.

Because she does pine, but she also knows it has no future. And Mr. Right isn’t really there. He’s kinda Mr. Wrong. I think. The ending made that unclear…

Now that we’ve established all the broken stereotypes, I feel like I should tell you what the book is about. But I also feel like it would ruin it, so I’m going to do a totally Ri-style summary which will make you interested:

Jessica’s normal, just normal and she’s griping and acting a lot like me, and she doesn’t know what to do with herself. Then one day she pees into a cup for a druggie and yells at her fake friends for being fake and spills the beans about who banged who over summer and calls a guy every night at midnight and then tells him that they’re never going to have a relationship, ever, and then some more stuff happens and then the books ends.

So you can tell, there’s romance, and relationships, and lots of funny little stories. As for the ending–it’s a bit of a cliffhanger to be honest. Which I didn’t like. But whatever.

Has anything I’ve written so far made sense? I feel like it hasn’t. Must be the head wound. I might die from it.

Anyways, I liked this book because I liked the main character because she was funny and interesting and not some mopey teenage cliche. The plot was engaging and Jessica was a great guide. She was just a kid being normal and writing about it. Sure, this book wasn’t anything profound, but it wasn’t trying to be. Which was good. It was fun. Think John Hughes, but not quite.

Ri’s Rating:



0. Couldn’t get past chapter one for fear of wanting to kill myself. Book induiced suicide…

1: Yuck. Ew. Below Average. Probably didn’t even read the middle and skipped to the end.

2. Ok. Would’ve been better if I’d written the ending and everything else.

3. Not bad at all. Very enjoyable. Quite nice. Recommendable.

4. My kind of book. Near ideal, but something was a little off (annoying names, bad ending, that sort of thing).

5. WOW. Makes me wonder why people watch T.V when this is out there. Really liked it. Don’t expect to see this often.

6 and above. What I want my book to be.

Leave a comment


  1. are you still obsessing over your “wound”?
    you are weak. WEAK

  2. Melody

     /  July 31, 2009

    I actually read this book before I saw your post… should I read the second? =]

    • Ri

       /  July 31, 2009

      yeah, it kind wraps up the first one and it has a solid ending, so you can stop the series there if you don’t want to continue it
      i liked the second one; it wasn’t too bad.


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